As My Friend Andrew Once Said...

"Women can be funny too"

*Disclaimer, this blog is a factual story that happened to me. It is also my first attempt at a humor blog. If it is not funny...well, whoops. All names have been changed on account of me not knowing them*

Tonight at the bus stop, I'm chatting up a very attractive girl that I was getting a vibe from. We're laughing and flirting, she tells me about her ex-fiance who she broke up with because she realized she might like girls, and how now she just wants him to die(it was around here that I started realizing I have a "type", and that "type", is batshit crazy). Still, I've already started flirting and it's hard to just turn it off. So there we are, at Warehouse and Hennepin, me and Crazy McHottie flirting up a storm. Seemingly out of nowhere (possibly the light rail) three middle-aged women came up to us. Maybe middle-aged is generous, but this is Minnesota, and I'm fairly sure that "Minnesota Nice" requires me to refer to all women past age forty-five as "middle-aged", regardless of the number of varicose veins they are proudly rocking.

One of the women softly but firmly interrupts our playful banter to inform us that she felt the calling to speak to us about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. As Crazy and I stand there stammering, Veins begins to pull something out of her purse (Bibles? Pamphlets? Knitting supplies?). I never did find out what she was pulling out, because then REALLY out of nowhere, a belligerent, fairly smelly drunk man runs up to them yelling "Are you supposed to be here? Leave them alone!" over and over again. The middle-aged Jesus Warriors scampered off as quick as their walkers would allow them. So now it's me, Crazy, and Drunk Man standing there, I say "thank you" and he says "Naw, girls, you just keep doing what you do" and completely leaves us alone.

Now, obviously, the moment was gone. Whatever spark I shared with this formerly engaged cutie pie who stole my heart using words like "proselytize" fizzled out. Still, I owe my unsaved soul to Drunk Man, and I'd like to thank him for that.